I thought this Austin residency would yield a higher amount of text to paper. Unfortunately I spend more of my time trying to forgive myself for the resistance to write rather than just writing. In the past Austin and the place I stay has been ideal for creativity.
First off, I am reunited with my Smith-Corona Electra 220 high-performance typewriter that I store underneath the front stairs. Unlike the one I have at home this one is equipped with power. It has a “power-space” bar, a hum of its electric powered motor and an unforgiving lightness to each key. Its return is quicker than any other typewriter I have used. In the past I have called the baby blue machine inspiring.
The blue room I sleep in has over one hundred paintings in it. Floor to ceiling, across the ceiling and even around the lamp shades. One can’t help being embraced by a creative energy. There is even a piece of mine that has been contributed to this collection. I can look at me submerged in a fish tank and think You have done something, You have produced work before. So why is it so difficult now?
For the party town that Austin is I can honestly say I am not wooed by its lure. A full social calendar is not my excuse for the lack of creative production. For years it has been a treat to enjoy this beautiful city without the distraction of knowing too many of its permanent residence. I spend most days at home, waiting for the itch. The draw to the paper. For my creativity to expel.
Another writer that lives with me here in Austin reminds me over and over to Just get it out. Don’t edit. Just sit down and get it out. It is wonderful advice. However, my resistance is a sound proof insulated wall keeping his echo from getting in too deep.
But here I am just two days before I leave. There are 4 free hours in my day and with such a little amount of time I have convinced myself to sit down. Mind you I just spent these four hours typing the same fucking page I have been working on since I arrived 3 weeks ago. But those are are the details we can edit out later.